Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
