how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
