They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
