I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
