Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
