i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
