i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
