the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
