I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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