HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
you had me at cake vodka
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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