was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize