i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
