i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
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