Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize