chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
