Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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