I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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