So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
The struggles of a small town man whore
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