Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
handjob tips. give me some.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
