me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
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