sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
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