i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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