your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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