she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
