Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Randomize
