I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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