The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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