The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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