Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
