Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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