Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
