is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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