You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
