he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
