She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
My ass is underappreciated
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
