We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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