Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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