Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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