sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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