My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
