Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
