i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
