I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i think i scared a bird with my dick
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Randomize
