I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
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