Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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