Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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