Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
