I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
