Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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