bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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