It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
