This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize