So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
what the fuck happened to the tacos
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
