i would punch a child for taco bell
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
3pm strippers are depressing
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
