I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
