I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
