So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
