Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
