How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
