bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
