there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
